Spending Like Eisenhower

WASHINGTON D.C. -- A deal has been reached in the ongoing soap opera of the national debt ceiling. Ending a perilous stalemate, President B-Rock Obama announced agreement Sunday night with Republican congressional leaders on a compromise to avoid the nation's first-ever financial default. The deal would cut more than $2 trillion from federal spending over a decade. Superman President B-Rock Obama says, if enacted, the agreement would mean "the lowest level of domestic spending since Dwight Eisenhower was president" more than a half century ago. Here at The Lemon that line sounded very familiar. If you recall it was in mid-February when B-Rock said his administration had the lowest level of domestic spending since Dwight Eisenhower. So is he saying his level of spending really isn't changing? And does anyone actually know what domestic spending was when Eisenhower was president? I guess the Kool-aid drinkers at MSNBC won't be asking that anytime soon. 

Too Much Meatloaf Leads to Collapse

Pittsburgh, Pa -- Singer Meat Loaf collapsed during a concert in Pittsburgh, Pa. The audience sat quietly thinking the singer was dead. Medics rushed to his aid. Meat Loaf eventually pulled a Jesus rising back up, but not before unleashing a profanity filled rank. Meat Loaf informed the audience that the dirty Pittsburgh air was to much for his asthma and that he fell on pin and was bleeding profusely, he also lost a tooth.

Man Blames Hand Loss on Tight Cuffs

Pittsburgh, Pa -- A former inmate in the county lockup is suing for 5-million big ones after he says tight handcuffs caused injury to his hands causing them to be cut off. 60-year-old James Cotton no stranger to handcuffs, Cotton was behind bars for not registering as a Megan's Law offender. At The Lemon we believe that since it was Mr. Cotton's hands that got him in trouble in the first place, maybe Karma was coming to knock on his door.

He Works Hard for the Money

Florida -- A pretty dang creative inmate in Florida figured out a money-making scheme by allegedly scamming the jail's phone system, making enough money to post bond and get out of jail.

Inmate Larry Stone, in jail since April for property crime charges, noticed something unusual when he went to make a phone call on July 7. He dialed the number he wanted to call, but when the call went unanswered, he noticed that double the amount of money was returned to his account. Stone, 32, allegedly spent the next three hours making 77 incomplete phone calls to local, long-distance and international numbers and raked in over $1,250, according to a report by the Lake County Sheriff's office. Police eventually caught on and Stone wasn't free for long.

Family Says Laying off Alcohol was Deadly

London -- We at The Lemon never heard of Amy Winehouse until a few days ago, apparently she was a young lady of musical fame who put the dead on after doing a good bit of drugs. Now published reports are saying her family is speaking out, saying it was a lack of alcohol that caused the 27-year-old's death. The singer was laying off the alcohol for 72-hours according to family members and this proved to be fatal.  Call us crazy here at The Lemon but maybe the ecstasy, ketamine, cocaine and heroin she allegedly purchased prior to her death played a small role.